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Joke of the Day

"I waited for so long at the doctor's office that by the time they called me it was time for my follow-up appointment."

"My psychic friend told me that she could tell me what my favourite band is... I said No Doubt"

"3 great things about getting old and losing your memory 1. You're always making new friends. 2. Every joke you hear is new. 3. I uh, I forget the third one."

"My family and I went to visit this new zoo that opened up recently but they only had a single canine there It was a shih tzu"

"*has argument with husband* *brings up all the dumb shit he said in 2011* *adds ""Historian"" to bio*"

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob."

"Leia: I love you. Han: I know. [gets frozen in carbonite] [two years pass] [gets unfrozen] Leia: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN ""I KNOW?!"""

"What did Donald Duck become after losing his tv show? a quack dealer."

"Wanna hear a joke? ""Why did the chicken cross the road?"" ""Why?"" ""To get to the house of the ugliest human on the planet. Wanna hear another joke? Knock-knock...."" ""Who's there?"" ""Buc-buc-bucaaaaaw!"""

"If only the first rule of Vegan club Was not to talk about Vegan club"