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Joke of the Day

"""I'm going to lay right here in the doorway and give people a dumb look as they trip over me.""- Damned dog.... Could've been me though."

"A Nurse talks to her young Patient Kid: Thanks for helping me get through these tough times, will you come and see me when I get out? Nurse: I'd love to, but I am scared of visiting graveyards"

"I was watching a hulu video and an ad came up saying ""This episode was brought to you by the invisible children."" Now I know how the internet works."

"Gonna open a karaoke place where each song is 90 seconds max. Most are 25 seconds. Just the chorus one time, then onto the next song."

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts"

"What's the difference between an old bus depot and a lobster with big tits? One is a rusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"

"What do you call a Native American with psoriasis? Apache Indian"

"So two typefaces are in a strip club... one says to the other, 'damn, thats some fine print.'"

"My Grandad spent most of the war on the lookout out for German bombers. He was a lifeguard at Berlin Swimming Baths."

"How does everyone have so much to say? All I want to do is eat and stare at stuff."