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Joke of the Day
"You don't realize just how eco-friendly clowns are until you think about how much they carpool."
Next Joke
"Sometimes during sex I accidentally say ""I love you too, brown paper bag smiley face."""
"When I figured out that people walk on hardwood and carpet, I was floored."
"A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states."
"Cute stranger: *smiles at me* Me: *already imagining who will get custody of the dog*"
"Today I Stumbled across something Very Tragic. I found a little baby in a dumpster. Everyone should know by now babies go in the Recycle bin."
"I just realized that I get most of my news from Twitter. So... someone remind me what Pres Bieber's health care bill will do to your mom?"
"Let's take a moment to thank earphones For helping us ignore stupid people all around us."
"What are the Muppet's views on the paranormal? ""It's a phenomena (do doo do doodoo)"""
"What's more inbred than English monarchs? Wheat."