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Joke of the Day

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints."

"A little girl is having a tea party with her teddy bear, and she asks it.... ""Would you like anything to eat Mr. Bear?"" The bear responds: ""No, I'm stuffed."""

"A male prison guard asks a woman on death row what she would like for her last meal. She replies, ""I don't know, what do you want to eat?"""

"What's the difference between a procrastinator and a prognosticator? Well, I haven't come up with the punchline yet, but you can probably see where I'm going with it."

"Sorry I got confused & grabbed your fist bump like a doorknob."

"Why did the cucumber blush? Because it saw the salad dressing."

"I went to the doctors with hearing problems... He said ""Can you describe the symptoms?"" So I replied ""Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair"""

"What do mathematicians do when they are constipated? They get a pencil and work it out."

"I hope Elon Musk never gets in a scandal Because Elongate would be really drawn out."

"What's the hardest part about cooking a vegetable? Fitting the wheelchair in the oven."