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Joke of the Day

"A male prison guard asks a woman on death row what she would like for her last meal. She replies, ""I don't know, what do you want to eat?"""

"What's special about twin fruit molesters? They always cum in pears."

"Did you know that Lorena Bobbit was originally from Russia? Her given name was Lorena Cutyourcockoff."

"Can't we just sit and drink somewhere until they build a bar around us?"

"What is Donald Trump's least favorite '80s band? Foreigner"

"Jokes about cats freak meowt Seriously, I'm not kitten."

"Getting my cat to ""LOL"" is a lot harder than it looks on the internet."

"There once was a fellow McSweeny... Who spilled some gin on his weenie. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, Then slipped his girlfriend a martini!"

"(to kid at lemonade stand) i ain't buying shit until i find you on yelp"

"My girlfriend thanked me for telling her a joke as she hadn't laughed since her mother died I think it was pretty disrespectful that she'd laughed when her mother died."