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Joke of the Day

"I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail... I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail. I sent it right back way too expensive and really bad quality."

"What do potheads do when they see a fire? Stop, drop, and roll"

"Don't believe that bullshit. Failure is ALWAYS an option."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Astor ! Astor who ? Astor the ball is over !"

"You know, this conspiracy with the Patriots has left me deflated."

"Stop taking my book seriously - God"

"Wife: Maybe its time for ""the talk"" Me: Ok. Son, cops can't bust you for the drugs you've done, just the drugs you have. Her: Not that talk!"

"Grandpa died having sex. His past words were ""Oh God I'm coming!"""

"I'm gonna have an Avengers themed birthday party But don't tell anyone, I'm trying to keep it Loki."

"me: an open casket with my vape pen hanging from my mouth wedding DJ: i meant final requests for songs man"