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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Maybe its time for ""the talk"" Me: Ok. Son, cops can't bust you for the drugs you've done, just the drugs you have. Her: Not that talk!"

"Why did the pervert cross the road? He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken"

"Hey, man. You used no capital letters and only one exclamation point to wish me happy birthday on Facebook. Is everything okay at home?"

"Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew."

"My friend David lost his ID Now we just call him Dave"

"Why is marriage like a tornado? Sure it's all sucking and blowing in the beginning, but by time it is over your house is gone."

"Why yes, I am watching a documentary about Marie Antoinette and enjoying it. Could it be because I'm straight fucking gangster? Perhaps."

"So a woman walks out of a doctor's office and she stops at the door, looks back at the doctor and says : - What was it again ? Sagittarius, Capricorn ? - No ma'am, CANCER !"

"muppets cannot die and nobody else seems to be worried about this"

"What do Hitler and Terry Fox have in common? Neither can finish a race."