30210

Joke of the Day

"banned from the horse lovers facebook page again for unloading a litany of ableist slurs on photo of a shetland pony"

"Why can't astronauts eat popsicles? In space, no one can hear the ice cream truck."

"A nun walks into a grocery store Nun: ""Hi I'd like to buy a cucumber."" Clerk: ""Well, why don't you buy two, so you can eat one."""

"If I had a nickel for everytime I was 10 cents short for a beer, I'd have become an alcoholic."

"[wife calls] did you write ""make all the traps from home alone"" on the calendar [me at hardware store holding paint cans and feathers] ""no"""

"People always tell me I'm funny and I always have to remind them I'm Dad."

"Sodium Person 1: ""Hey dude do you know what the symbol for Sodium is?"" Person 2: ""Na"" Person 1: ""I'll ask someone else then thanks anyway"""

"What's Trump's favorite Olympic sport? Fencing!"

"Humour is of two types below the belt and above the forehead."

"Losing it guys vs girls (NSFW) ""Losing your virginity to an asshole"" is an unfortunate event for girls but a damn good one for guys."