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Joke of the Day

"A nun walks into a grocery store Nun: ""Hi I'd like to buy a cucumber."" Clerk: ""Well, why don't you buy two, so you can eat one."""

"Being a New York Jets fan is like watching Titanic every Sunday and cheering for the boat."

"A man walks into an Australian pet store, He asks the bloke behind the counter ""where do you keep the kangaroos mate?"" The bloke replies, ""outback."""

"Why did Johnny drop his ice cream? No you sadistic fucks, he did not get railed by a truck. He just tripped and fell :)"

"I walked into a shop and saw a radio for sale because the volume was stuck on high... ...I thought, I can't turn this down!"

"Which side of the chicken has more feathers? The outside"

"My protractor wanted to know what my plans were for this weekend Not sure what his angle is"

"me: honey, I'm home! [shuts door] girlfriend: (from bedroom) oh yeah harder me: if you say so [slams door]"

"I can't control my urge to pull tube tops down."

"Just went down to get my driver's license renewed but this time I made sure I was drunk for the picture. Now if I ever get pulled over for drunk driving, they'll just think I'm spastic."