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Joke of the Day
"People always tell me I'm funny and I always have to remind them I'm Dad."
Next Joke
"What do you call a pastry with an English degree? A synonym roll"
"I'm thinking of maybe giving up on my Olympic dream."
"Husband has fake roaches that he sets up around the house to scare the shit out of me 24/7. I'm putting out positive pregnancy tests. HA."
"is Quentin Tarantino directing 2016?"
"BAE: come over BATMAN: i'm fighting crime BAE: my parents aren't home BATMAN: *tears up* same"
"What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer"
"knock knock Who's there? Pill. Pill who? Pill Cosby."
"Wife: how was the doctor? Me: bad I'm dying Wife: I know, how was the doctor?"
"What did the hypnotist say when he got his own website.... Hyp Hyp Hooray."