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Joke of the Day

"I entered 10 puns into a contest last week. Do you know how many won? No pun in ten did."

"I heard they came out with the new black transformer... His name is Optimus *Crime*"

"I was with my friends when.. One of them asked the other if he was a virgin. He replied ""No, I came out mom's vagina."" I honestly don't know how to feel about this."

"If you need anything you can call me any time of the day or night. I won't answer and my ringer will be off, so it won't bother me at all."

"Premature ejaculator seeks bubbly, blonde female with big ti...... Hang on. It dosen't matter now......!"

"Champagne says I'm classy. Vodka says I can do anything I want. My therapist says I have to stop talking to my drinks."

"Hey my American friend, I heard you like Football jersey's so I got you the new Irish Kit!! *Um, Bro?*"

"1912 called. They want their boring ass concept of a parade back."

"How did the florist act after getting her dream job? Got so excited she wet her plants."

"Why Obama shouldn't take the penny out of circulation. He said he would bring change, not take it away."