120459

Joke of the Day

"Why Obama shouldn't take the penny out of circulation. He said he would bring change, not take it away."

"Look, don't ask me about the blind masturbation competition. I don't know where I came."

"Wife [returns home] have you eaten Me: have you eaten Wife: are you copying me?! Me: are you copying me Wife: I Love You Me: I already ate"

"Oregon have legalised marijuana and are creating a new strand It's called Oregon-o... ^^^I'm^^^Sorry."

"My neighbor is a real douche & always cheating on his wife, so I changed my wifi to KARL IS CHEATING ON YOU AMY for when she needs my wifi."

"Two goldfish were in their tank... Two goldfish were in their tank. One turned to the other and said, ""You man the guns; I'll drive."""

"Why did the felon have so much energy? He was well arrested!"

"I think my wife was sleeping with my boss so I changed jobs to prevent that from happening... One of the perks of being self-employed."

"My girlfriend said to me ""as a young boy, was your mother very strict with you"" and I said ""let's make one thing absolutely clear..."" ""My mother was never a young boy."" Tim Vine"

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandad Not screaming and crying like his passengers."