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Joke of the Day

"I got a job at the zoo circumcising elephants the pay isn't great but the tips are enormous."

"Roses are red, Violets are blue... Pornhub is down, your facebook will do ( )"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. Feminists can't change shit."

"A woman was breastfeeding on the bus today. A man looked and said ""OMG!"" That's disgusting! Looking back on it, that might not have been the best time to masturbate."

"A girl once broke up with me... A girl once broke up with me because I quoted Linkin Park too much. It was a great releationship, but in the end it doesn't even matter."

"Want to hear a joke about nitric oxide? NO"

"Popeye teaches us that the best reason to eat healthy is revenge. #CartoonLifeLessons"

"Daughter: Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor? Me: Because they have boring parents, darling."

"I used to date a baker... But she was too kneady."

"What did the underscore say when he got up to leave? Gotta Dash!"