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Joke of the Day
"Roses are red, Violets are blue... Pornhub is down, your facebook will do ( )"
Next Joke
"[furious with son] wife: what happened? me: he talks back to me and is insulting me in Spanish [son from room] yolo isn't spanish me: ya see"
"If you use the word ""ridonkulous"" or ""ginormous,"" chances are you're a retardiot."
"Don't tell me I can hear the ocean if I put a shell up to my ear. If he has something to say to me SAY IT TO MY FACE U PIECE OF SHIT WATER"
"[Coworker] Are you smiling at your stapler? No, just checking for spinach [Laughs nervously]. Oh, good. [Me, to stapler] Sorry baby I had to"
"What is Kanye's favorite Transformer? Bruce Jenner"
"My girlfriend died yesterday. She's dead. She suffocated, broke her neck and drown all at the same time. I'll never her last words. Do you want a blow job?"
"BIRDMAN Little girl: ""Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"" Mother: ""Because he thinks he's a chicken."" Little girl: ""Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"" Mother: ""We need the eggs."""
"In congested traffic, it's best to stay on the right side of the road. It'd be a real tragedy if you were on the wrong side."
"TIL Steve Harvey was the valedictorian of his graduating class. Oh wait, no he wasn't. My mistake."