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Joke of the Day
"I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery hashtag nofilter"
Next Joke
"If loving copies is wrong, I don't want to be copyright."
"""I should probably start filling this thing out."" -I say about my son's baby memory book on his wedding day."
"Why do countries ""cut ties"" when things get tense ? So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties."
"Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? - Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you."
"I own a struggling scuba shop ...my business is going under."
"How to get the attention of a crew of bricklayers... Yell ""Eh, Tony!"""
"""Is this your resume?"" Yes ""It just says you used to leave shit at your friends' doors, ring the bell & run away?"" Yes ""Welcome to UPS!"""
"Women: underwear are not hot pants/short shorts. THEY ARE UNDERWEAR AND YOU GIVE ME A BONER"
"Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied."