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Joke of the Day

"""Is this your resume?"" Yes ""It just says you used to leave shit at your friends' doors, ring the bell & run away?"" Yes ""Welcome to UPS!"""

"I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me."

"What do you call a black person that can fly a plane? A pilot, you racist fucks. P.S Wasn't that well received in anti-jokes, so I figured it might work better here."

"do you have a girlfriend dude? Friend: yeah dude! Me: where is she from? Friend: from a different nation. Me: oh really? Which country? Friend: from imagiNATION."

"The grown up version of Tetris is loading a full dishwasher."

"Doctor and patient Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"it is hard to b scared of a angry person once u realize that they just wanted to tie a knot but insted of using string they used their arms"

"Having identical twins is great because if you misplace one you have a second copy."

"What does a Korean need when they're taking their dog out? Oven gloves."

"two Odessa women fall out with each other: - Oh, you old whore! - Sarah! I do not understand, what's age got to do with It ?!"