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Joke of the Day

"I'm dating a feminist historian Not to brag, but I am -*really*- good in bed. She thinks I've been fucking her for thousands of years."

"""Mom look! It's a toy blue-tooth!""(cereal prize in Doucheberries Crunch)"

"That moment when you're going to stalk someone and you end up stalking 5 more people because you need to understand the whole conversation."

"So a priest and a kid walk into the forest The kid says to the priest, ""wow, im pretty scared."" the priest says, ""your scared? I have to walk out of here alone."""

"They should make another Taken movie, about Liam Neeson's character being under-appreciated for trying to keep his family safe. ""Taken 4: Granted"""

"What do vampire footballers have at half-time? Blood oranges."

"Bill Cosby has finally agreed to an interview to discuss the accusations of rape. He invited Katie Couric up to his hotel room for a quick drink and a chat."

"There are 10 types of people in this world Those who understand binary and those who don't."

"What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey team? A hockey team takes a shower after three periods."

"How to give a good hand job... Step 1: Use your mouth."