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Joke of the Day
"What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays."
Next Joke
"I am eternally grateful that Twitter doesn't have an ""is online now"" indicator"
"I don't understand... ...how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and yet my wife can have 152 just for our house."
"'Twas the night before Christmas, and everyone knew, you were still out shopping, yes, it sucks to be you."
"I wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life creating wacky sci-fi inventions... The time machine alone set me back 15 years."
"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer recently. I don't know what he laced them with, but I'm still tripping."
"Two muffins are baking in an oven ... And one muffin turns to the other one and says, ""Wow, it's pretty darn hot in here."" The other muffin says, ""Holy shit! A talking muffin!"""
"What's better than roses on my piano? Tulips on my organ!"
"Hey guys, just to let you all know I'll be closing my Facebook account in three days... But in four days I'll be explaining why I didn't leave."
"I got fired from my job at the Orange Juice factory They said I couldn't concentrate"