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Joke of the Day

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer recently. I don't know what he laced them with, but I'm still tripping."

"That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp and kill a cat."

"I've invented a solar-powered still! It turns sunshine into moonshine. Credit: Quirk."

"*Prosecution points to badger*: Objection! This animal has no place in court! Defense: Your honor, the badger is prosecuting the witness"

"What's tinier than a teeny weenie ant? An ant's teeny weenie."

"You know the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? The hooker can wash their crack and sell it again"

"Took my drivers test high on magic mushrooms. Passed with flying colors."

"So i stole this joke from I Love Lucy, So a woman walks into a restaurant The woman says to the waiter, ""Two pork chops, and make them lean."" And the waiter says, ""Yes, ma'am. Which way?"""

"I will make a book called Math for dummies and I'll sell 1 for 10 dollars or 2 for 30."

"Apparently ""You probably don't hear this a lot, but I think you're quite attractive"" isn't a very good pickup line."