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Joke of the Day

"Blue cheese dressing makes anything a salad. For example, this french fry salad I'm eating right now"

"What goes ""Tick Tock, woof woof""? A watchdog."

"Temperature in the office is set to Dante."

"Why can't I pay pay your mom for sex with my credit card? Because there's a minimum charge of 5 dollars."

"Did you hear about the new tractor movie? I heard it has a good trailer."

"What does it sound like to shoot yourself in the foot twice? Pao! Pao!"

"Did you guys hear the one about the mascara and the lipstick? The relationship was alright, but the make-up sex was amazing."

"A wife gets naked... ...and asks her husband, 'What turns you on more! my pretty face or my sexy body?' Husband looks her up and down for a moment and replies, 'Your sense of humor.'"

"Why did hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill."

"2015: This is our son, Aiden. 2016: This is our son, Lemonaiden."