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Joke of the Day

"Karma may ""work"" but I think that bitch takes a lot of days off"

"had anyone heard of the new patriot themed beer. I heard it wasn't that good, it was A little flat."

"An old man was having a check up.... The doctor asked how hid erections were doing. ""They come and go."""

"Did you hear Charlie Sheen has HIV? He thinks he got it after sleeping with two and a half men."

"I came in like a lion and went out like a kitten."

"Someone complimented me on my driving today They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."

"Why is [friend's name] always on the bottom? Because they won't stop fucking up"

"I once ate an entire pack of rope I shit you knot."

"I think we should solve world hunger. You might say I'm a strong believer in world peas. ^I'll ^see ^myself ^out..."

"Snail Racing My friend owned a racing snail. It never won any races so he removed the shell to make it go faster. Sadly it didn't work, if anything it made it more sluggish"