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Joke of the Day
"What did one crab say to the other? ""Damn this bitch is nasty!"""
Next Joke
"How does Donald Trump plan to silence the terrorists? Muzzle 'em"
"Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious"
"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a lightbulb Then I realized that my life was a joke..."
"A pirate walks into a bar... And orders a bottle of rum. The bar tender says that will be 10 dollars. The pirate replies, ""Do you accept Barrrr Nickels???"""
"Sometimes passing by a nursing home is the only reminder I need to go buy my kids whatever they want."
"When Chuck Norris goes to Vegas, he doesn't have to gamble. The casinos just give him stacks of money."
"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? (Say it out) An elephino!"
"Me: *Asks question on snapchat* Them: *Answers question on snapchat* Me: ""Wait, what did I ask again?"""
"Pilot makes a sudden sharp turn, comes on speaker ""Just kidding!! Attendants will be by with new underwear. Have a nice flight everybody."""