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Joke of the Day

"I crossed the road, walked into a bar, and changed a lightbulb Then I realized that my life was a joke..."

"A little kid comes running into the backyard. He says ""Pop! Pop! Ma just got hit by a bus!"" ""Son you know my lips are chapped. Please don't make me smile."""

"Bert asked Ernie if he wants ice cream ""Sure, Bert"""

"If you tell me your kid is 22 months and I buy it a beer, that's on you. That is your bad."

"What do people in Prague call abortions? Canceled Czechs"

"I saw a how-to page on record scratch and DJ techniques. It was a wikki-wikki Wiki."

"Whenever I have trouble getting out of a hot shower, I simply count down from 100. Today I got to -634."

"What do you call a poor photographer who works for a tabloid? A Pauperazzi"

"My daughter can open just about any front door using a credit card, so your kids honor roll certificate seems a little useless right now."

"People say I'm a people person It's like a dog person, but with a lot more chains in my basement."