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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her And according to the judge, she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend"

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"So two pencils got in an argument... It ended in a gra-fight."
"How do birds record their songs ? On duck tape !"
"Some day, I will meet a woman who loves me for who I am and supports all my dreams. And I'll think, ""Something must be wrong with this one."""
"Roses are red, violets blue, Open you're legs a few hours or two."
"2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Badum tsss."
"Bernie Sanders had a rally in Los Angeles last night attended by over 27,000 supporters. The rally set the world record for most Priuses in one parking lot."
"What is it called when a heavy gambler goes on vacation? Paradice..."
"Sleep is my drug....my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police."
"There's something about a mousetrap that I can't quite put my finger on."
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