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Joke of the Day

"So two pencils got in an argument... It ended in a gra-fight."

"*dog walks into a pet store wearing a fake moustache* ""Hello sir or ma'am I would like to lovingly adopt your most delicious cat"""

"Why did the oil covered seagull get sued? There can only be one goo gull"

"Have you heard about the pussy that opens beer bottles? Here's a bottle opener, go get me a beer."

"I'm gonna be honest, I don't even know where girls pee from"

"Fred: Your sister uses too much make-up. Harry: Do you think so? Fred: Yes. It's so thick that if you tell her a joke five minutes after she's stopped laughing her face is still smiling!"

"I'm developing a new dandruff shampoo designed specifically for pubic hair. I'm going to call it Knees and Toes."

"I was thinking about making a sodium joke ...but Na."

"How are spinach and anal sex alike? Chances are if you didn't like it as a child, you're not going to like it as an adult."

"I was dating an analog synthesizer But I had to break it off. She was just continuously variable."