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Joke of the Day
"Roses are red, violets blue, Open you're legs a few hours or two."
Next Joke
"i don't always not give a shit. but when i do. Nevermind, I don't give a shit"
"What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, it simply waved."
"The personal trainer at the gym advised me to try some resistance training. So far it's going really well. I've resisted going to the gym for six days now."
"Someone suggested that I try Acupuncture. I don't think adding more pricks will make a difference."
"Baby I wanna love you across the face with a romance shovel."
"Ladies: We barely pay attention when you are speaking directly AT us. What makes you think we will pick up on a subtweet?"
"Give a man a fish Feed him for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish, feed him for the rest of his life."
"I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his Lil mind"
"I like my puns like I like my sausages... the wurst ones are the best."