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Joke of the Day

"If I was a serial killer my name would be ""The suspense"" So my victims would be like ""oh no, the suspense is killing me"" And then we would both laugh right before I kill them."

Next Joke
 
"I'm addicted to Halloween! Nobody seems to know how to ""treat"" it"
"Statistics show that 73% of people don't have enough fibre in their diets. Ah well, tough shit"
"So there's this cute girl from work and I'm too shy to talk to her But then I realized, all I needed to do to talk to her was to remove the duct tape"
"I've just done the pilot of a new porn series about promiscuous airline staff."
"Everyone lectures Americans about our politics.. We use our military to lecture the rest of the world's on theirs."
"In the past hour I've dropped my phone and my computer. Let me hold your crying baby."
"What is Buddhism measured in? Oooohms"
"Wait...you said JAZZ hands? Oh god. I totally misheard you. Please get me a towel."
"A Jewish boy goes up to his father and asks for 5 dollars. The father responds, ""4 dollars!! Oh my god what do you need 3 dollars for??!!!"""