29104

Joke of the Day

"Seize the day. Repossess the evening. Impound last week. Forcibly confiscate the entire month of September."

"Sometimes me and my brothers used to mess with grandpa. Once we asked him if he knew what a sex tape was. He nodded thoughtfully. 'Sex tapes? Sure, we have those, but your grandmother prefers cuffs.'"

"Why is 7 afraid of 8? It's not, numbers don't have emotions."

"What does Mrs. Potato Head call her husband's penis? The Dick-tater."

"I saw a car with no wheels the other day They were enTIREly gone"

"""Where do babies come from?"" Asked the little boy... Perplexed, his dad answers ""well they come from the store, son."" Kid looks at him with disgust and goes ""eww you had sex with the store?"""

"Best year of my life! Last year was the best year of my life. Broke my neck and I have never looked back since."

"""Would the owner of a blue PT Cruiser with license plate 'CRUZIN' please park your car 300 miles from here and kill yourself? Thank you."""

"You know, they're making the prospective Mars astronauts shave their whole bodies prior to departure. That way, when it's time for blastoff... they'll baldly go where no man has gone before."

"What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like? Depends."