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Joke of the Day

"What does Mrs. Potato Head call her husband's penis? The Dick-tater."

"I'm not all that concerned about Celine Dion's recent losses. I'm pretty sure her heart will go on."

"If you had a 14 inch penis growing out of your forehead how much of it could you see? None because you would have two balls in your eyes."

"I made three snow angels the other day. I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians."

"A good way to meet a lot of cops is to put a ""Baby On Board"" sticker on a picnic basket tied to a motorcycle."

"I recently rewatched The Lion King and just noticed how many metaphors there were... I guess you can say there was a whole lot of *Simba*-lism."

"Why does Saturday stink? Because it has a turd in it."

"My ex-girlfriend told me nothing shocks her anymore so I switched her digital scale from Lbs to Kg."

"American police."

"Why don't blind people bungee jump? Cause it scares the fuck out of the dogs"