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Joke of the Day

"I changed my buddies auto correct, so when he types ""Got it"" it actually types ""Go tit"""

"What's a Ninja Turtle's favorite equation? A radical equation."

"I got some good tips on how to spice my roast chicken... I guess you could say it was (_) ( _)>- (_) Sage advice."

"I got an allergic reaction to peanuts. Then I got sued by TheFineBros."

"My credit card company is super nice, they really help boost my self esteem... They always tell me I have an outstanding balance!"

"Hey you hear about that gay midget? Yeah, he came out of the cupbard."

"Whats's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ."

"My deodorant is called ""state's evidence""... Part of the Wetness Protection program."

"One day... I'll look up what procrastination means."

"What did the man say when he saw the Jewish man stealing his water? ""Water Jew doing?"""