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Joke of the Day

"if going to church has taught me anything, it is that Catholics hate unexpected pterodactyl impressions"

"Who is Ric Flair's favorite director? John WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"My wife treats me like a God Every evening at dinner I get a burnt offering."

"What would Jesus say if you angered him? ""I'm Crossed."""

"What do a feminist and a policeman have in common? Q: What do a feminist and a policeman have in common? A: They're both trigger-happy."

"I think all the women who don't get a rose on the Bachelor should at least walk away with a cat."

"I would absolutely slay the dating game if looks and personality didn't matter"

"Di you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel peace prize? He was outstanding in his field"

"Dear Airlines, We never really turn the phones off. Signed, Everyone"

"I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I'm confused about how many at night?"