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Joke of the Day

"Who is Ric Flair's favorite director? John WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Does the carpet match the drapes? Nope, I've got hardwood."

"Joe: If you love it so much why don't you marry it? Jim: Hmm [Two weeks later] Jim: Meet my new wife! *holds up Joe's wife's potato salad*"

"Instagram is the most pleasant social media site because it's really difficult to take ignorant, racist pictures of dogs & brunch"

"What has nine arms and sucks? Def Leppard."

"I heard that wordplay was illegal. Apparently there is serious PUNishment."

"My friend told me I didn't understand irony Which was ironic considering we were stood at a bus stop at the time."

"Politicians are like sperm.. one in a million turn out to be an actual human being."

"I thought Bill Gates would cave and release the new Microsoft Office early. But he kept his Word."

"What's the difference between feminists and Nazis? The Nazis shaved."