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Joke of the Day

"what did the egg say to the boiling water? i dont know how long its going to take me to get hard i just got laid by a chick"

"What's the most awkward part of a redneck wedding? When her father and brother walk her down the isle."

"Hey something came in the mail today... What? Deez Nutz! Haha Got Em!"

"A man had three sons. One was a model, the second a hair stylist.. The third one was also a faggot."

"Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn't see himself in a mirror."

"I spent 10 minutes comparing minivans with another dad in case you wondered what it's like to be dead inside."

"What did the couch surfing, yoga junkie say when his friend asked him to leave? Namaste."

"Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the highest-quality ingredients."

"Fe Fi Fo Fum Rhyme scheme tweets are kinda dumb"

"Two aerials (antennas) meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant."