28769

Joke of the Day

"98% of all band-aids are used to cover up a child's melodramatic bullshit."

"Bad is accidently sending your buddy a dirty sext intended for your girlfriend. Worse is getting 'lemme think about it' for a reply."

"MRW I see all this Fine Bros news [removed]"

"""honey don't you think you're treating one of our kids unfairly?"" ""who? Tim, Felix or the fat one?"""

"I bet all the other glues are really jealous of Super Glue."

"Well there's definitely one word I can't use to describe Tom Brady's ego... Inflated."

"Math class is like a penis... Its long and hard, unless you're asian!"

"Why did the farmer get nominated for an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. Why didn't the farmer make it to the award ceremony? Because he was out standing in his field."

"What the difference between a pancake? It tastes better with jam."

"I haven't spoken to my wife in 8 days because she hates it when I interrupt her"