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Joke of the Day

"Biologist screws up: Mutant killer virus Physicist screws up: Deadly black hole Geologist screws up: Rock on table is now rock on floor"

"Daddy! I am hungry! I want to eat! You should be ashamed, son. When I was your age, I wanted to be an astronaut."

"Johnny Depp always looks like he is just as confused by his ""accent"""

"What do floppy disks and Jesus have in common? They both had to die to become the icon of saving."

"Joan Rivers had so many facelifts That the ended up with a goatee"

"Doctor told my wife and I that our baby has an extra chromosome... What a downer."

"Watching Finding Dory & her parents call her ""cupcake."" How do they know what that is? This movie doesn't seem very realistic, you guys."

"My wife just told me she read all 1800 of my tweets. I feel like I did when I was 10 and my mom found that magazine under the mattress...."

"A man tries to buy a trampoline... but his check bounces."

"Why did Patrick Stewart shave his head? So he could badly go where no man has gone before."