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Joke of the Day

"Daddy! I am hungry! I want to eat! You should be ashamed, son. When I was your age, I wanted to be an astronaut."

"Every summer I go to Grammar Camp we discuss creative ideas and pitch our new tense."

"Psychedelic Playthings... So I should probably stop covering my child's toys in LSD and leaving them out... ... I've heard they can be a trip hazard."

"How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring"

"Even if women came with a set of instructions, men would toss them aside without reading them."

"People say that Twitter is pointless but it's teaching my children to be self sufficient."

"What is the etymology of the word ""politics""? *Poli*, from the Greek *polloi*, meaning ""Many"". And *Ticks*, from English, meaning ""little bloodsucking creatures."""

"Reasons Pluto is so cold: 3) It's far from the sun 2) Its atmosphere is too thin to trap heat. 1) It found out we said it's not a planet."

"MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: An alarm clock that sounds like a dog's pre-puke warning grunts."

"Love is like a cup of hot coffee on a rainy day... It gets cold really fast."