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Joke of the Day

"Johnny Depp always looks like he is just as confused by his ""accent"""

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"Why did Beethoven kill off his chickens? They kept saying, ""Bach, Bach, Bach."""
"Just killed a spider IN MY BED!! So if you need me, I'll be burning down my home and looking for a new place to live."
"Why did the milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder"
"How did the butcher cure cancer? With salt."
"5 Brazilian dollars sounds like a lot of money... However, with the current exchange rate its only about $1.35 USD"
"My girlfriend and I were talking about pets, she said she'd like to get a manatee. I just laughed and said, ""Two sugars, please."""
"How many suh dudes does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it's already lit fam."
"Every day I spend a few hours on a running track. Next week I might even turn it on."
"What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast? You can make soldiers out of toast!"