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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a drummer off of your porch? pay for the pizza."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face. #watersportsgate #goldenshower"

"I just long for a relationship with someone who doesn't make me feel like I'm missing out on something cool on television or the internet."

"I'd love to get myself a job inspecting mirrors! I could really see myself doing that."

"What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a head, I'll give these two a lift."

"Why did the dolphin kill himself? A lack of porpoise."

"Dark comedy is... Like water.......not everyone gets it."

"How do real partners in crime jokingly introduce themselves to people?"

"Always bring a stopwatch to church, guys. You want the girl that spends the longest amount of time in confession."

"Recent documents have shown Mussolini was one of biofuels' first advocates, using them extensively in Italy, even for public transport He made the trains run on thyme"