30140
Joke of the Day
"How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!"
Next Joke
"My wife and I do this cute thing where she sends me pics of kitchen towels she can't decide on buying and I google my life expectancy."
"[Dark humor] What do you call a not-hungry ethiopian? Dead."
"My Doctor says I need to start exercising religiously. So now I hit the gym on Christmas and Easter."
"How are Roman Polanski and pimples similar? Both cum on your face when you're 13. How are Roman Polanski and body hair similar? Both cum on your ass when you're 13."
"""Sorry dad... my cat ripped your sweater"" ""Darn it!"""
"I want to write a mystery novel. Or Do I ?"
"A hot mess? No, thanks. Sounds sticky and uncomfortable. I prefer my messes like I prefer my revenge: cold and served to someone else."
"My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means she can eat anything off the floor if she waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter."
"I asked my North Korean friend how it was to live in North Korea He said he couldn't complain"