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Joke of the Day

"What's the quickest way to get to the airport? Terminal Velocity. [:D](http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true)"

"If a man says something in the forest, and no woman is there to hear it... ...is he still wrong?"

"Let's do away with the 140-character limit for all, and have each person's limit equal his or her IQ."

"Why don't you buy Ukrainian underwear? Because cher-nob'll fall out"

"Weed strin humor At the dispensary there is a strain called Aldous Huxley. If you smoke it with your wife she becomes sterile. #LegalWeedJokes"

"I like to send out texts saying ""Hey, I got a new phone and lost your number. Can I have it again?"" Just to see who`s dumb enough."

"One Wish If I was a governor the first thing I'd do, is make having a family garden an excessive tax write-off: and I'd have the most beautiful state ever."

"Seminar topic at the annual vampire conference ""How to Deal with Stakeholders"""

"A turtle is crossing the road.... when he is mugged by two snails. When the police show up they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies ""I don't know...it all happened so fast!"""

"What words men never want to hear during sex? Hi honey, I'm home."