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Joke of the Day

"A turtle is crossing the road.... when he is mugged by two snails. When the police show up they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies ""I don't know...it all happened so fast!"""

"Some people call it anal bleaching, but I prefer to call it changing my ring tone."

"What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDS"

"What's the difference between a pedant and a sadist? A sadist is honest about his intentions. ____________________________________ That probably wasn't funny, but what do I know?"

"NASA is planning to lasso an asteroid and bring it to the moon? I was unaware NASA had hired Wile E. Coyote to plan their missions."

"Come on, terrorists. Stuff your pockets with colorful beads before exploding. It doesn't have to be ALL negative."

"Where do guys go when they want to get their penis sized and fitted? The Cocktailor."

"My cat sleeps on the refrigerator... I get to see her every 30 min"

"Have a drink My friend told me to get a beer as I looked like I had a rough day. I looked at him and said ""With your face, you must be an alcoholic."""

"A man walks into a bar it's already full of bad jokes."