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Joke of the Day

"How to insult an elder in the museum. Say ""I would shake your hand, but the sign says ""Do not touch the artifacts.""""."

"How many Budists does it take... How many Budists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. The change, if needed, will come from within."

"We live in a generation where Gorilla Glass technology protects our phones.. ..yet there's nothing that exists that could have saved Harambe."

"What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew."

"Why didn't the internit get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman."

"What do Lifesavers do that a man can't? Come in eight flavors."

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hippies don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags."

"Just updated my resume. Hobbies section now includes: ""Currently tied with Lance Armstrong in Tour de France victories."""

"Do zombies eat donuts with their fingers? No, they usually eat their fingers separately."

"I walked into a locker room today, and saw a bunch of members of Donald Trump's new administration standing around completely nude... ... I've never seen so many Goldman sacks!"