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Joke of the Day

"I walked into a locker room today, and saw a bunch of members of Donald Trump's new administration standing around completely nude... ... I've never seen so many Goldman sacks!"

"Q: What did the blonde customer say after reading the buxom waitress's name tag? A: ""What did you name the other one?"""

"My mate went to a fancy dress party as a silent bee. ""Very subtle,"" I thought."

"Sex is like Pizza I haven't had any in a while."

"How are procrastination and masturbation alike? At first it's all fun, but in the end you realize you're just screwing yourself."

"Apparently just because I have the ""mind of a child"" I'm not allowed to sit on a Santa's lap. Also it's ""illegal"" to carry a brain around."

"I can be up bright or early. Pick one."

"What do you call a T-Rex that's been weightlifting all day? Dino-sore"

"What do you call a fat town Obe-CITY"

"My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding. She got mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again."