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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the internit get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman."

"Carl: So hot today. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: During WW II, Americans tried to train bats to drop bombs. Me: Fair enough."

"The new pope sure lives up to his religion. His roamin around all over the place!"

"What do horror movies and printer ink have in common? The black one always dies first."

"I called the bookstore and asked if they had any books about constipation. She told me it hasn't come out yet"

"Even with all the flooding in LA I don't think the police should be able to shutdown the major roadways.. Because that's highway robbery"

"How much does a truck full of bones weigh? A skeleTon"

"What do you call a lazy crocodile? A procrastigator (I'm trash)"

"When Chipotle says, ""Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?"" I pause, then say, ""Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."""

"How are sex and pizza similar? If you get it from someone in a Chuck E. Cheese's it's never very good."