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Joke of the Day

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I hadn't masturbated for a month. Seriously, when I ejaculated it was six feet. Which was unusual, as usually it's cum. Strange day."

"Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?"

"How do you compliment a scarecrow? Tell him he's outstanding in his field!"

"My teacher's got a pretty face if you can read between the lines."

"If I had $1 for every time somebody called me a racist... black people would rob me."

"My handicapped girlfriend claimed she could arouse me at any moment but it's hard when she can't move an inch"

"What is the difference between a man and a woman? Wo"

"Why are black people so good at basketball? Because it involves shooting, stealing and running."

"What do you find in a zombie's veins? Dead blood corpuscles."

"What's the difference between a guy with a vasectomy and a guy without a vasectomy? There's a vas deferens."