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Joke of the Day

"I dowloaded the song ""Runnin' down a dream"" illegally from the internet... I got charged with Petty theft."

"A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub. Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours."

"WAIT, THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS AIR AND SPACE MUSEUM!"

"big pharma. if youre reading this i have an idea for a pill that makes you tinier so you can fit into secret zones. i will let you invent it"

"Aaanndd I've just been peed on. Were I Tila Tequila I'd have met 1 of my New Years resolutions before the clock had even struck midnight"

"I wasn't trying to put you on a pedestal. I was trying to bend you over it."

"I bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.."

"Three jews walk into a bar... ...a bar mitzvah."

"Add ""in my pants"" after a song name Shake that laffy taffy in my pants"

"1. Get tipsy. 2. Go into a tanning bed. 3. Pretend you're a panini."