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Joke of the Day

"big pharma. if youre reading this i have an idea for a pill that makes you tinier so you can fit into secret zones. i will let you invent it"

"How do you start an Ethiopian rave? You tape bread to the ceiling."

"My friend did some graffiti with me He just tagged along."

"Did you hear about the Indian who drank too much tea? They found him drowned in his teepee."

"A man asks his wife what she wants for Valentine's Day. ""I want you to get something that will make me look sexy,"" she says. So he goes shopping and returns home with a case of beer."

"Bought one of those tennis racket looking bug zappers today. My god, where have you been all my life. What fun! Oooh, here comes the dog...."

"I need to chat with my coworker's husband.. If he was bangin' her properly, we wouldn't have to deal with her bad attitude.."

"I like to whisper my questions to the Librarian so they can ask me to speak louder"

"Roommate: (looking over my shoulder at my files) What's ""goat_in_heels.wav"" (I slam my laptop shut & throw it through a closed window)"

"I am going to follow a random gang of drunk girls around the night club tonight, and just be in the background of all of their photos."