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Joke of the Day

"A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub. Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours."

"How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?"

"A fair deal A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside."

"I have just endorsed Andy Murray on LinkedIn for tennis."

"Apparently, Indian banks will give you a loan only if you prove that you don't need it."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Hot and all over my crotch."

"Why did they stop feeding cows the round bails of Hay in Texas? Because they weren't getting a square meal."

"Step 1 Change your Wi-Fi password to ""blowmefirst."" Step 2 Wait for someone to ask you for it."

"If I was named Edward Normus, I'd use my first name's initial and my last name as much as I possibly could."

"What do you call a short mexican? A paragraph, because they're not a full essay!"