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Joke of the Day

"The Republican primary race should be called ""The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"" It's way too long, and the protagonists are becoming more juvenile as it goes on."

"What do lawyers and sperm have in common? 1 in 3 million have a chance of becoming a human being"

"At Walgreens I asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around and looked them in the eyes and said, ""Make it 52""."

"I'm on this new diet where I can eat anything but sugar, bread, meat, fruit, and food"

"Ronda Rousey says she contemplated suicide. Holly Holm declined the rematch though."

"Scientists have discovered what a woman wants. But she changed her mind the next second."

"My Boss's Name is Richard. I think his last name should be Cranium; because he is a dick head."

"Craigslist is actually a great way to find stuff that's been murdered on"

"My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta.... I'm doing well, but I do get cannellonli."

"Hey chicks who wear a buttload of make-up. Don't borrow someone else's iPhone to make a call. You leave half of your face on the screen."