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Joke of the Day

"My Boss's Name is Richard. I think his last name should be Cranium; because he is a dick head."

"The glittery vampire from Twilight is putting out an album. In other news, real musicians continue to play for coins in the subway."

"What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison? An escapea"

"Why can't a bike stand on its own ? Because it's two tired."

"Yes, Banner Ads, we want to check our Credit Scores. Almost as much as we want to pick people up at the airport and see our parents fucking."

"The FDA has approved a new camera that can be swallowed so that doctors can look at the inside of their patients' bodies. So to answer your question: Yes, selfies CAN get worse."

"IRONMAN 3 SPOILER ALERT: Tony's all ""pffsh whatever I'm Ironman"" then he's all ""JARVIS HELP"" then he's sad but then it's like whaaaaat."

"Sometimes I wish I was a dinosaur, but then I remember they didn't have nipples."

"I can't stop watching this TV series on the history of the Black Monks It's been addicting"

"Dentist: ""You don't need to open your mouth any wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside."""